I feel like in this digital age we’ve forgotten how to communicate.
You see Husby thinks I call and text him too much while he’s at work. And maybe I do. And to be fair he never calls me, although that could be because I can’t talk on my phone at work. But anyway, that’s another discussion.
My problem is that I feel that when he as at work and talking to me on the phone is the only time I have his full attention. There are so many distractions at home and in the car. But not so much at work. I sent an email to his work email today. iPhones have this nifty feature that tells you when someone has read their text message. Three read text messages and no response. So I sent him an email with the same question. Still no response. And I’m getting frustrated. All I want is for him to go pick up dog food since he gets off work an hour before I would.
I find it increasingly harder to get him to listen and then to remember what I’ve said. If were to ask him to repeat what I said five minutes later, he couldn’t do it. And I believe that it’s because of all of the distractions that we have. I was trying to talk to him last night in the car and I glance over and he’s playing on his phone. So unbelievably frustrating.
Marriage Today, Happy Wives Club, and Dating Divas all talk about how we as women should nurture and support our husbands. Show them how much we love and respect them and appreciate all that they do for our families. How we should make it our priority to be enthusiastic when they get home from work. But what about us? Why do men not have to show respect, attentiveness, and appreciation for all that their wives do?
I work two jobs and go to school part-time. I get home after Husby does. I do go into work later, but I have class before work. I get home an hour after he does and I still prepare dinner nearly every night. The nights that I don’t we eat out.
Husby does not greet me when I walk in the door, he’s either playing on the computer or working on his research. He does not even notice if I’m going in the door late, but you know if I failed to notice such things I’d fail as a wife. He does not thank me for preparing dinner. So I ask, why should I think him for “earning” the food if he doesn’t thank me for making it safe to eat?
Why is it that as wives we are supposed to maintain the late 19th/ early 20th century ideal of the perfect wife when times have changed? It’s just a hard pill to swallow that I am expected to do work outside the home and still maintain a perfect home life. And I’m supposed to listen to him and be respectful and not interrupt. He however can interrupt me all he wants and can do things that don’t give me his 100% attention.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. Put the electronics away and talk to each other. No TV or radio in the background, no cellphones in hand. Let’s see how much better we can listen to each other. And maybe we can find this new place for husbands and wives in a world where we both have work outside of the home and where we share the work with inside the home.