So I guess I’m going to weigh in and do a response blog. By now most of you have heard about or read this blog post:
23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23
Now I married at 24, and I’m not upset at her post because I’m married. I totally respect her for not wanting to get married yet. That’s her personal choice. I also agree that some couples are getting married just because they are lonely, desperate to get away from their parents, or who knows why.
And yes some of these marriages will fail, heck some of the marriages between couples who are in their thirties and marring for the first time will fail too. Age or number of previous marriages is no guaranty that your new marriage will survive.
Now, I should use the word fail in quotations. Here’s why, you made a promise to the other person, to your higher power, to your families, yet a lot of people think nothing of breaking that promise. Now obviously I think that divorce is reasonable if you’re with someone who is abusive or whom cheated on you. Or if you really truly genuinely hate each other. But here’s the thing, that hate built over time, you can’t tell me you woke up one morning and realized you hated each other.
I think the reason marriages fail and why people say that marrying young is a bad idea is because people give up too easily these days. I think particularly the “young” give up too easily.
Now, that y’all understand my views on marriage and why I don’t understand Miss Vanessa Elizabeth’s vaguely sarcastic views on the topic. I’ll just say this about her list, she had no need to add being selfish to her list. The whole thing is selfish. As for making out with strangers, holding two relationships at once, and sitting naked in windows, those things are decidedly not for me nor do they sound like my idea of a good time. I also cannot stand Nutella, I think it is absolutely disgusting.
Now there was another woman who did I response, I don’t know her actual blog site. I read it over on Young Conservatives. That can be read here: http://youngcons.com/must-read-young-woman-gives-amazing-response-to-the-23-things-to-do-instead-of-getting-engaged-before-youre-23/
Now this woman is married like myself and at the time was 25. To clarify, I’m 26 and as my readers know, I am also a housewife, a college student, and obviously a blogger. In case you where wondering my husband is thirty, an engineer, and currently working on his PhD. All that is relevant because I have to disagree in part with the second blogger as well. I mean I agree 95% with her point of view. Oddly enough I disagree with her list and the title of her list.
You see I think that there should be a middle ground. I think that it’s a bad idea to be married and live in each other’s pockets. Even in the days of farming and extreme isolation unless you lived in town, the wife had her own pursuits. You have to be individuals, spending time together is great, but so is alone time.
Also, I don’t know when or where we as a society began calling our spouses our best friends. I have a best friend, my husband isn’t it. That sounds really harsh, but it’s true. I’ve know my best friend since the third grade, she knows me in ways no one else ever will. Now the same could be said of my husband, but there are differences. So I’m sorry, but my husband is not my best friend.
Anyway, of course I had to compile my own list:
26 Things to do Regardless of Your Relationship Status
- Buy a house
- Learn a foreign language
- Visit all the National Parks is the USA
- Buy and actually pay off a car before trading it in for something newer.
- Graduate from College
- Learn to cook a signature dish.
- Learn a new skill
- Go on a cruise
- Start a blog and stick with it for at least a year.
- Be a foster parent
- Volunteer at a soup kitchen
- Learn a computer programming language
- Build something
- Write a book
- Take a tour of a wine vineyard
- Read an entire book series before seeing the movie or television series.
- Go see your favorite musician in concert.
- Visit at least one foreign country
- Become politically active
- Play one video game all the way through and beat the final monster/boss.
- Adopt a pet from your local animal shelter (the one item on the original list that I agree with)
- Complete a 5K
- Be completely debt free for at least a year
- Start a vegetable garden
- Learn to bake cookies
- Go on a camping trip