Gestational Surrogacy and It’s Estimated Cost

There are several medical steps to this process, the total amount is not due up front. I’d like to inform everyone of the cost break down for each of the items. This isn’t about just mine and Tom’s journey, this is also a way to spread infertility awareness. One of the biggest things that is not known is that most insurance companies do not cover IVF and other fertility treatments. It is not required by any type of law. Therefore, couples whose only option for a biological child is IVF, all costs are out of pocket or through assistance such as grants and fundraising. So here’s the break down on just the hormone treatment to prepare the female body for a medically placed embryo.

Our fertility clinic offers an IVF Frozen Embryo Cycle Package which includes:

• Transvaginal ultrasound monitoring

• Estradiol blood tests

• Frozen embryo transfer

• Transabdominal ultrasound for embryo transfer

• Embryo transfer procedure room fee

• Thawing of cryopreserved embryo(s) per straw

• Preparation of Embryo for transfer

Total= $3,335.00

Extended Culture of Embryo – $1000

Thawing of additional straws – $250

Thawing protocol for vitrified embryos – $400 (may not need depending on freezing method used on the embryos)

Hormone treatment (medication to prepare body to become pregnant) – $1000

New Patient physical to ensure carrier is healthy and can safely carry a pregnancy – $250-$500

Saline Ultrasound and test embryo implantation (ensure that doctors can place an embryo into the uterus)- $400

Infectious disease test – (In our case this is times 4; myself, Tom, Julia, and her husband) $80 per person = $320

GC/Chlamydia test (both couples have to be STD free) – $250 per person = $1000

Bringing the medical total to $7,755

This does not cover the legal fees associated with the requirement of having a family lawyer for the contracts and such. Nor does it cover costs of the pregnancy itself. I do not have the exact numbers for the lawyer as of yet. Therefore, I planned approximately $2,000 for that portion of our expected cost. Also please note that we have already done the IVF cycle which involved hormones for myself, egg retrieval, and egg fertilization; we paid $17,000 for that piece of this journey two years ago. And finally, these costs depend on your region and the clinic you chose to use. Feel free to message me with any questions.


Beginning Gestational Surrogacy

I have MRKH what that means in the most basic terms, because that’s not the focus of this, is that I was born without a uterus and cannot carry my own child. Though I have functioning ovaries and produce eggs.

My husband and I have been married for 6 years and we have always wanted to have children. There are a few options open to us, the one we have chosen is having a biological child through a gestational carrier. This is a long and complicated process.

I will be documenting our journey. It’s not just celebrities using gestational surrogacy there are everyday people with fertility issues too.

One of our biggest challenges has been finding someone willing to carry for us. After lots of praying and questions we have found a carrier, my sister in law has agreed to carry our child for us!! ❤️❤️❤️ We went to the doctor’s office and pending a few more tests we’re moving forward!!!

We could not be more excited! But we have a long road ahead and we’re asking for help. But I cannot wait to call my mother and father in law and tell them that we’re pregnant and we’re adding to their grandbaby count.

We’re also asking for love, prayers, and support as we move forward. It takes a village and I am so incredibly blessed to have the most amazing village!

If you would like we’re taking donations through YouCaring. Our goal is $10,000.




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Hey y’all! I’ve been MIA, I bruised my femur and separated my MCL from the knee. So I was out for three weeks while we came up with a game plan. I’m back in and I’m happy to report that I still lost 9 pounds. One more pound and those new trainers are mine!  So excited!!! 

Anyway, I just wanted to say howdy had I sit her pedaling my heart out on the stationary bike! I love working with my personal trainer and I love how accomplished and motivated I fee after a work. It’s an amazing feeling! 

Anyway, have a great week!



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So I promised I would talk about this. This is where things get tricky. 

A lot of studies out there say that any calorie intake below 1,200 is dangerous and that you will gain weight instead of losing it because because you’re body is in starvation mode. This why MyFitnessPal will not allow you to set a calorie limit below 1,200. 

But FitBit bases your calorie intake off of your age, sex, height, weight and resting metabolism. Therefore for someone like me, my FitBit says I get 650 calories a day and I have to exercise to eat more. 

I’ve done a lot of research on this, and I really don’t have an answer as to why FitBit sets such a low calorie count if you’re trying to lose two pounds a week. I mean, I stated my theory above, but I’m just concerned. So I log my food in both apps, but tend toward MFP more on the calorie side of things. 

Either way, both apps base their daily calorie estimates on you personally. You are asked your sex, age, height, weight, and daily activity level. They also factor in the weekly goal you want to meet, from not losing any weight to losing two pounds a week. From there the apps uses an algorithm to calculate what they think your calorie goal should be. FitBit tells you you’re good within 50 calories of what they’ve set for you. I assume MFP is the same way, I haven’t been able to find out for sure. 

Regardless of which app you use, a key piece of the losing weight puzzle is nutrition. I’m not going to say diet, because that implies something you do short term. Eating the correct foods is a lifestyle change. 

And a final word on this, once you reach your ideal weight, you tell the apps that you want to maintain your weight and they will use the algorithm to calculate a new daily calorie goal for you. This will work provided that you don’t DECREASE your activity level, if you do you’ll gain the weight back. 

Good luck everyone! Remember, we’re in this fitness struggle together, the only person you have to be better than was the person you were yesterday. 

The Gym



Last week I signed up for a gym membership. I went exactly once, it was a weird week. Tonight I’m going to an 8pm yoga class. I’ve never tried yoga, but with my bad chicken wing I’m super limited on what I can and cannot do, even more so than usual. 

Anyway, this will be the first full week with the membership. The goal to go everyday except for Thursdays and Saturdays. 


I should have posted this before I started, but I forgot. 

This is my disclaimer statement. 

I am not a dietitian, I am just sharing what I’ve researched and what works for me. 

I am not a physical trainer or a physical therapist, the exercises I recommend are ones that I can do. Please consult an expert before beginning a routine. 

Unless otherwise stated within the post, I am not being paid by any company to promote their products. 

Finally, please consult your physician before starting any new diet or exercise routine. 



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One of the first things I did in order to encourage my weight loss was buy a FitBit. I didn’t need all the bells and whistles, I just needed a step counter that I could wear. I looked into other options and nearly bought one that tracks swimming, not FitBit brand. Ultimately my decision hinged on cost. My FitBit Flex was $30 on Groupon for a refurbished one.   

Man did I learn fast that I don’t walk nearly has much as I thought I did. I have to work really really hard to get 10,000 steps, most days I can’t. So, I reevaluated and decided to lower my step goal to 7,000.  Why?

Because if you set your goal too high you just discourage yourself from succeeding  Seeing myself fail everyday, setting myself up for failure everyday was detrimental to my fitness goal. 

So here’s what I did, I took my average number of steps a day and add 1,000. A thousand more a day is easier than say 4,000 more a day. The plan is once I’ve reach my goal everyday for two weeks I’ll increase the goal by a 1,000. Eventually I’ll get to the 10,000 a day that the FitBit recommends. 

I also make it a point to log one meal a day into my FitBit activity log. That’s it, at least one meal a day. Now, FitBit always looks like you get very few calories unless you’ve been really active. The number of calories you are allowed is based off your resting metabolism. So it’s super discouraging, I’m usually over calories after breakfast. This is why I also log my food in MyFitnessPal. I’ll explain calorie goals and the like in another post as it gets pretty confusing. 

Finally, the FitBit wants you to be active for 30 minutes straight everyday and exercise five times a day. That was too much for someone who hadn’t exercised in months. I lowered my daily active minutes to 20 and set my goal to exercise 3 days a week. Once both become easy and routine I’ll increase those goals. 

The overall goal is to do more than what I was doing before, but not to push myself so hard that I give up because I never meet the goals. And that is what I encourage everyone to do. Look at what you do daily and go up a little bit. Only increase as each goal is met, becomes easy, and becomes so routine that you don’t think about it or have to force yourself to meet it. 

Weight Loss


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I know it’s January, everyone makes it a New Years resolution to lose weight. But when my five foot self stepped on a scale one day and saw 200 pounds, this became something more than a resolution. 

Now I’ve lost weight in the past and it’s always been a challenge, I mean it is for anyone. But because of my MRKH and the ways it has affected certain skeletal components, the types of exercises I can do are limited. So I rely primarily on diet to lose the weight. 

Last year I started this journey and was completely sabotage by well meaning comments that essentially just berated me when I had a rough day and all I wanted was pizza. They told me all the health reasons why I needed to lose weight. One went so far as to claim she knew more about my health history than I did. *eye roll* 

This time I will blog about my struggles,  because I need a way to voice them. And because maybe there is someone out there with similar struggles and they need to read that they are not alone. 

Today I weighed myself and I’d lost five pounds, five pounds in 21 days. This is not going to be quick and it’s not going to be easy. More on what I’ve been changing to come. 

Stay tuned


Mine and my husband’s parents, at least on our mothers’ side, farmed. Our mothers worked on the farm along side their parents and siblings. But they decided to move off the farm and built lives in the city. But my husband and I both have memories of driving tractors and doing child appropriate farm chores. Why am I sharing this? Because as most of my readers know, we bought a five acre track of land with the intention of moving out of town to get away from ridiculous city ordinances. What started out as away to escape the noise and the pressure has turned into an idea of having a small subsistence farm with the hope that it one day may turn profitable.

The problem is of course, being two generations off the farm, other than knowing how to plant a garden, drive a tractor, care for and prepare chickens, and run barbed wire fence, Husby and I know absolutely nothing. And with many of our family members thinking we’re stupid city people, there are few people to ask advice from. But as I get older the desire to return to the farm and to grow things with my own hands grows stronger. The fields of corn I drive past to go to work make me wistful, and the tractors I have to slow down for on the state highways while at work make me wish I was behind the wheel of a piece of off-highway equipment, not my work truck.

This journey that we have decided to travel down, starting first with a half acre of vegetable gardening and a few fruit trees and working up to chickens and then hopefully pigs or goats, is not going to be easy and we’re going to screw up a few times. That’s why we’re going to keep our day jobs for awhile, though Husby will probably always keep his. We’re also going to have to commute farm for awhile since we have no house out there yet and can’t afford to build one just yet since we bought the land free and clear. But even if all we ever have is some chickens and a garden patch, I can be happy, knowing that we tried.

Married to a Genius


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My husband is a brilliant man. He is an aerospace engineer currently working on his PhD in aerospace engineering. The man can do incredible things. He can explain to you why different planes use different propellers and engines. He can tell you the difference between a Prat and Whitney and a General Motors engine, well if you’re a citizen of the United States anyway. He can tell you how a gearbox inside an airplane engine fails. He can tell you how expensive it is to sent a satellite into orbit and how much different launch types will cost.

My husband can also rebuild a car engine. I’ve watched him replace every single part of a four wheel drive front end in less than two days. I saw him repair a car the should not have even been operable any longer and help a friend get a few thousand more miles out of that car. He’s a wiz at brake jobs, tire and brakes shops aren’t as quick as he is by himself. And oil changes, the only reason the quick lubes are faster is because they have the pits.

Yes I am a lucky girl. I married a man who in less than five years of marriage has been able to supply us with two new, not going to break down, cars were the only maintenance we now do is of routine and not overhaul verity. Because of his capabilities I can go to college myself full-time and only work part-time.

All of that brilliance, people sing his praise and they remind me of how lucky I am that he fell in love with me. A technical high school drop out, who when we met was working as a housekeeper at the local hospital. That soon to be college grad took a liking to me. And they wondered at his decision. But they do not openly question it because of his brilliance in other matters.

Now he is about to get that PhD and I am finally about to get a bachelor’s degree. But I am still several rungs below him on brilliance and worthy scale, even eight years after we first met.

I wish I could say that I thought my husband was as brilliant as all those other people say he is. I wish that I could do my Christianly wifely duty and keep my mouth shut and not complain about the man who provides for me. But I just have to tell someone, even if no one reads this and it just goes off into Internet Neverland. In my opinion my husband is actually quite stupid. And his brilliance in other areas has guaranteed that he did not have to build up intelligence else where.

And granted it’s not stupidity really although that’s the best descriptor I have for this phenomenon. You see he is so brilliant, so tied up in his world of technology and computers that he cannot see the real world. Or rather the other world, the one in which we mere mortals must reside. He literally throws fits and gets very angry when ask him to join this other world. Take tonight for instance. Something occurred that always occurs. I asked him as, I had been responsible for the task all day, if he would feed the dogs. And he got very angry. He got angrier when the dogs began to misbehave. Occurrences that do not take place when I preform the task. But it starts a fight. Because I do not understand how such tasks are beneath him, but not beneath me.

I am also tired of fact that the only way I can have conversations with this man and his brilliance is to have fights with him. Or to suffer through how apparently, he is not only a genius in his area of study, but mine too it would seem. In all of his brilliance, it seems that one is not allowed to have opinions different from him. And if you do have different opinions, he takes delight in belittling you of your ideas. And it can be quite frustrating.

And I realize that seemed to be a random tirade, but it had a purpose. You see my point is, that no one sees his faults except for me. And reader or Internet Neverland, you too are bound to believe that I am wrong and he is right. It is part of his brilliance. No one ever sees literally or figuratively, his bad side. That is reserved for me in our home. And so if I were a dumber woman I would be the victim of gas lighting. Because you see he tries to twist my words and my feelings and tries to contrive to show that things are my fault. I was overtly sensitive, I deliberately interrupted his state, any of those excuses. And they would work on someone else. That someone would be someone who could not see passed the brilliance. If I were any other woman I would be blinded by his brilliance and never see beyond that to the flawed and broken man underneath. So I take the criticism of being less, of being intolerant, and even of being the abusive one. Because dear reader and Internet Neverland, you see he has hoodwinked you. My husband, this brilliant man, the possible Einstein of our age, has gas lighted the world.